Not Me! Monday

Mmmm, this past has been busy! Or not....


I HAVE NOT spent the week trying to understand how to help my 15 month old sleep. She is NOT suddenly crying in the middle of the night for no reason that we can comprehend. She DID NOT sleep through the night at 3 weeks (don't be a hater) so this is NOT a shock to our system.

I DID NOT hand roll 384 cookies for Christmas presents this weekend. I DID NOT spend the day watching White Christmas and old MacGuyver episodes while I endlessly rolled and iced 384 cookies.

I DID NOT venture out to Old Navy at 6 AM Friday morning to purchase clothing for a photo session for all four kids. I was NOT surprised to see how many people were there since I was NOT a Black Friday virgin!

We DID NOT attempt to get a photo of all 4 kids smiling and dress appropriately on Sunday afternoon at Portrait Innovations. We would NEVER be that foolish to brave those crowds! We DID NOT get a decent shot for which I was happy to pay $10.23 with tax for 45 prints.

I DID NOT make steel cut oats in the crock pot overnight. It DID NOT make so much oatmeal that I we had almost 6 full cups of leftover cooked oatmeal after everyone in the family had seconds! I DID NOT decide to try to make oatmeal cookies from the leftover oatmeal. They DID NOT turn out more like chocolate chip oatmeal muffies!

I also DID NOT open too many cans of pumpkin for pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. I DO NOT still have the pumpkin waiting to be made into pumpkin bread.

I DID NOT lose 2 pounds this week even with all the feasting and baking! I am NOT super proud of that!

Have a spectacular week!

Friday Funnies

Sabrina is mostly the star of Friday Funnies this week. In case you are unaware, she is cartoon character.

At dinner, Sabrina, "Mom, can you pass me some more agamola? (guacamole)

Sabrina: Mom, my favorite author is Margaret Wise Brown.
Me: I like her books too. My favorite is Good Night Moon.
Sabrina: I like her books. But she died a long time ago. Many long years ago. (Now singing) Many long years ago, many long years ago, The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be many long years ago.

After a mini-tap recital, Sabrina had a candy cane. Eating it the back seat of the car, she leans over to her brother: Chase! Wanna FEEL my fresh breath? HAAAAAAAH.

A few more from some others.
At the Dellario family Thanksgiving, there was an epic football game. Kristin (10) didn't really want to play while her brother (15) and sister Jackie (14) were. Her dad offered this encouragement:
Kristin, come on! Get out there and play.
Kristin: Dad, football's just not my thing.
John: Yes, but beating on Jackie is, so get out there!

Chase and I were playing some basketball, and it was cold outside. Chase wasn't wearing a coat, so I asked him if he wanted to go in and get a jacket.
"Mom, I'm not cold. I keep telling you I stay warm because I've got hair on my chest."

Thanksgiving

I had an "ooo-my-heart-is-ugly" experience today.

I was frustrated. I only needed to go to Schnucks for 3 items. Just 3. I know it's the day before Thanksgiving, but I needed them today. Oh, and it's torrential rain. Seriously. Getting out the door should have taken 10 minutes because we were all dressed, just needed to use the bathroom and buckle in the van. Instead it took 35 minutes. Boy 1 & Girl 1 were bickering getting in the van, so they had to get out and back in again without arguing, which took 3 times. Baby wouldn't hold still to get her shoes on and then I realized I put them on the wrong foot. Boy 2 couldn't find his shoe that he was wearing 1 hour before. I was getting more and more agitated. I knew the entire trip, even with the crazy traffic should take 30 minutes and now it's taken us 35 to even pull out of our garage.

By the time we drove the 9/10 of a mile to get to the store, we had trouble finding a parking space. I wasn't really mad anymore, but just looking for any place, not just a close one. I was stuck at a parking lot "intersection" where someone was loading their SUV full of groceries by the front door. They were in a fine spot. The problem was the crazy guy behind them. He was yelling and honking. Completely obnoxious. I thought, "That pour woman is trying to go as fast as she can. She doesn't like getting wet either. Calm down." My heart melted for the woman loading groceries in the rain, doing the best she could.

And then God showed me my heart. I had been like the obnoxious man with my kids. I was getting frustrated and angry, which didn't help the situation; it really only slowed us down. My kids were doing the best they could (mostly!). I had prepared myself for the grocery to be crowded and full of people. I had prepared myself to be patient there with people and my kids. But at home, I just wanted it done. My expectations weren't met and I offered no room for compassion on my poor child who honestly couldn't remember where he put his shoes.  I forgot "...as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

I'm thankful God gave me this experience today. I'm sure the next few days will be full of opportunities to be impatient and frustrated. God fill my with You Spirit that I may have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Have a Thankful Heart this Thanksgiving!

Not Me! Monday

Monday, Monday! But this week is exciting: it's Thanksgiving week!

Here are a few activities in which I DID NOT engage this past week. Nope, Not Me!

I DID NOT serve my son questionable turkey meat for lunch because I hadn't gone to the store yet. I also DID NOT make a cupcakes from a mix that would expire in 10 days and ice it with icing that expired the day before. I have NOT been on a mission to clean out my pantry.

While tying up my daughter's hair bow, I DID NOT notice some old, dried vomit. I DID NOT continue to tie the bow and then just cut off the inch with crusty vomit. NOPE, that would be truly gross.

I DID NOT discover after my workout, that included lunges and squats, that there was a a three inch split in the rear of my pants. These pants are NOT 6 years old. I've NOT worn them through 2 pregnancies. They are not so stretched out they fall off if I don't cinch them up.  The split in these pants DID NOT fully show my fabulous white & flowered underpants when performing all the squats, lunges, and bench presses. NOPE, Not me!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday Funnies

Michael has done a great job of encouraging the boys to take me on dates, and it's become a special time one on one with each of the boys. The are super sweet and ask to take me out fairly often. And they always pay with their own spending money! I'm choosing to believe it's because they want special time with me, not because they get hot chocolate or donuts or bagels. ANYway...here are couple dating stories.

For one of our first dates, Stuart took me for a "donut date" at the Kaldi's in Schnucks. We got our coffee and bagels/donuts, then went to sit down. The little seating area had a TV (which I didn't know before we went). I had to remind him to look at me while we're talking instead of watching the news program on the TV. He responds, "But, Mom! I really like the TV!"


Stuart: Mom, we have to go on our date tomorrow. No, I'm going to take Dad for donuts. I'm going to trade dating. Every time I get $5, I'll go back and forth between you and Dad.
When I'm rich, we'll all go to Cracker Barrel.


On the way home from our date at Kayak's Coffee, I asked Chase a few questions about how he feels about God and school and life in general.
Chase: Mom, I'm just sensitive.
Me: Really? What makes you think you're sensitive?
Chase: Because I can smell really well. For example, Stuart's hands have a unique smell. It's their own smell. I can smell from far away things that he's touched. Like if Stuart's touched a penny and it's in the the living room, I can smell it from our bedroom. I have a super sense of smell, so I'm sensitive.

Hand to Jesus, people, I don't make this stuff up!

The only thing that can come out is what's in

Bryan continued the James series at Jubilee this week. Another excellent message from one my favorite books in the New Testament. I also love Lamentations, but that's a post for another day.

A few points that hit my heart

1. You are a product of your community.
  Surround yourself with people who are real, loving, and honest. Allow space for people to speak into your life. As Bryan said, if you're not close enough for someone to offend you, how will have to opportunity to forgive? If no one ever rubs you the wrong way, how will you smooth your rough edges? The bible speaks of us as clay, and God uses community to mold us for His glory.

2. When ugliness comes out of you, it's because that's what's in you.
  God uses opportunities when someone hurts/offends/angers/bothers/frustrates/irritates us to show us what's in our own hearts. Repeatedly, Jesus reminds us that what is in the heart is what comes out our mouths. When we live life in community and seek God, the ugliness of our sinful nature is bound to make an appearance. This can be incredibly painful. Sometimes the knocking is so hard because God is really digging out deep issues in our lives. The joy of community is forgiveness and sanctification. God uses these situations in our life to give us an opportunity to repent and to bring freedom in our lives.

3. Pride separates people
  When you value yourself above others either in arrogance or false humility, you separate yourself from others. Protecting yourself from the pain of possible confrontation by withdrawal or a "too deep alarm" isolates you. You are cutting yourself off from the life God has for you in community.

Are you in your community or just around people?

More words

A few weeks ago, Annalise could say about 7 words. Last week she said her first sentence. Here are some new ones!

cracker

please (pees)

thank you (tatoo)

Stuart (too-ert)
backpack (baa-pak)
sister (ss-ssr)a
jacket (j-kt)
hug (hag)
snack (snk)
potty (pah-e)
bow
bye-bye


She's well on her way to fitting in with the high-density verbal space that is the Whitmer household!

Not Me! Monday

Oh, Monday. How I tolerate you!

Confessional and fun. It's Not Me! Monday time!  I feel it's too fun to give up, even though MckMama doesn't seem to be participating. That's k!

So I DID NOT promise to call back a friend from Texas in 10 minutes. I WAS NOT so proud of myself that I called her back in 7 minutes. I DID NOT call a friend in Illinois by mistake and continue talking to her as if I meant to call her. I DID NOT dial again to reach said friend in Texas only to realize I called a friend in Kirkwood. By the time I actually called said friend in Texas it was not 20 minutes and two very funny conversations later.  I would never be that absent minded.

I HAVE NOT found red potatoes all over the house. Annalise HAS NOT been taking them from the pantry, gnawing on them a little and leaving them in place like Sabrina's room, the bathroom, her closet. NOPE, I always keep track of my kids better.

I HAVE NOT considered again how much it would cost to have an iPhone. NOPE, I would never be sucked in by the amazingness that is Apple. We DO NOT already have 2 Mac laptops and 3 iPods. We are NOT that brand loyal.

I DID NOT leave a $4 tin of pretzel rods in my cart at Aldi. NOPE, always remember everything in my cart.

I DOT NOT have 10 loads of laundry to do today. I would NEVER wait all week to finish the laundry. There IS NOT clean, folded laundry still in a basket from last Monday. NOPE, totally on top of it here.

Happy Monday! I would love to see your Not mes! this week!

Friday Funnies

It's been in the 70s this week. It's November. Really? Randomly in the car this week, Chase says, "We just don't get weather like this." He is 80!

Sabrina has been very excited about getting her hair cut since I made the appointment 2 weeks ago. There has been a virtual countdown. I asked her why she was so excited.
SJ: Mom! I get my hair cut, and then Miss Jenny gives me a piece of candy! I can't wait!


There is no real way for me to recreate for y'all the 20 minute monologue Sabrina gave us in the car yesterday, but here's the readers digest version. And yes, there is no punctuation unless she actually took a breath...
SJ:Mom, when we get home we've got to play Red Rover Red Rover is the coolest game ever You line up and call people and you try to break through their hands and you laugh really hard when you do Can we please play when we get home?
Me: Honey, that game takes more than just a couple people. It's perfect for the play ground or school or park.
SJ: But Mom it's the greatest game ever and we can invite lots of people over to our house to play We can invite Ellie and Ruthie and Emery and Florence and Drew and David and Sarah and London and Miss London and Aidan and Landry but not Chase and Stuart because they'll be too rough I think we can invite the whole JK class including Mrs. Burzinski's class and Mrs. Fellows' class We have to invited 16 hundred million people and then we will have the best game of Red Rover around! Can we do that today?
Me: Um, not today, but another day maybe.
SJ: [silent for a bit] Well, I'll just have to talk to Daddy about this.


Annalise said her first sentence this week! Drum roll, please.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ch!
"Shoes on!"

And there you have it!

Ten Tips for Surviving-Thriving-the Holidays!

Ok, we all know we LOVE the holidays, yet at the same time they are crazy! The hustle & bustle is a blast until we are wounded by the shrapnel! So here are some tips that have helped our family enjoy "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!"

1. Start from the same side
   Set aside a night in October/November to discuss the holidays. What do we want to do this year? Do we travel, do we stay home? Is it just our family or friends too? Re-evaluate your traditions. Are they working for you? What would you like to change? Communicate openly and honestly about why you like or dislike what you've done in the past.

2. Make a calendar plan
   Decide what days you will travel or host a party? Do you have work parties already planned? What about kids' concerts or church services? Write those dates on the family calendar/iCal/outlook/google calendar/piece of paper you carry with you for the next 8 weeks. Every member of the family who is responsible enough to keep a calendar (this includes teenagers) needs to put those dates on your calendar. These are your skeleton. Items will be added and taken away, but you have a place to start

3. Communicate to your family
  If you always drive from Florida to your grandma's in Wisconsin, but this year you're going to stay in the Sunshine State for Christmas, you need to communicate this to your family. Communicate with "we" statements. "Hey, mom, this year WE have decided to stay home for Christmas. WE have had a busy year, and WE need some down time this Christmas. Would you like to come here? WE would love to have you." Not, "Bob needs some rest. I would love to come, but he needs to stay here." You are on the same side and communicate to your family that way. Also, it's best if you talk to your family and your husband talks to his.

4. Make a budget
   If you haven't already decided how much you're going to spend on each person, do it now. If you have realized that Christmas comes every year and have been saving, well done you! For the rest of us who aren't quite as with-it, we need to make financial decisions now before we start shopping. If you have already bought some Christmas presents that you've stuffed under a bed or in closet, find them now and include them in your budget.

5. Schedule nothing time
What? Nothing time? Yes, at this time our family is going to reconnect and just hang together. Maybe play a game or read a book together or make some music. I would avoid technology for those times. Movies and Wii are great, but scheduling some nothing time goes a long way to recharge from the busyness. Don't think it will just happen. Write it down!

6. Use the Internet for shopping, but don't abuse it
  It's easy to surf and forget what you're doing online! Choose a time to focus on shopping. Set a timer and don't go to any website that are not involved in your Christmas shopping. Don't go to Facebook, Blogger, or email, because you'll get distracted! Except my blog, because, well, you like me.

7. Decorate with Friends
  Trade time with a friend and decorate together. Do your house one day and hers the next. Include your kids or send them out with the hubby. It's always more fun to do this together. We have a tree trimming party most years and that is always a great time with friends!

8. Keep extra food and presents on hand
  For a few meals a week, make a double recipe and freeze the second batch. When people are suddenly coming or you're invited someplace, you'll have great food on hand to serve or bring. Or simply, you can't seem to do anything more than turn on a oven and fall into a chair with a glass of wine while your children decorate the house with toilet paper...anyway.  Buy a couple extra sussies to have on hand has hostess gifts or the "ohcrapIforgotyouwerecomingandIdon'thaveagiftforyou" present. Choose things that don't spoil or go out of style and are nice tokens to honor people. Candles, pretty notebooks, card sets, Starbucks cards are all nice things to keep around. If you don't have to run to a store in December, your life is better.

9. Relax and say no.
  Oh, just one more party! One more event! That would be great, but I'll have to say no. Feel the freedom to not do 18 cookie exchanges and 10 secret santas. Choose what's most important to you and say no to the rest.

10. Remember what you're celebrating
  Thanksgiving and Christmas are times to stop and reflect and celebrate. Thanksgiving is a time to remember the blessing in our lives and the freedom we have because of some brave people who were fleeing persecution. Christmas is the celebration of God's ultimate rescue plan. Jesus left the throne of heaven to come into this world fully human as a helpless baby. We love and give from a thankful heart because God first loved us enough to rescue us.

Remember that budget? So....I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Tiny Prints blogging program, making me eligible to get a $75 Tiny Prints gift certificate! For more information on how you can participate, click here.

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Have a great Holiday Season!

Widsom

 Rick Hein continued the James series by preaching to Jubilee's city location this past Sunday. He said many things that pricked my heart.
James 3:13-18 compares two kinds of wisdom: wisdom from God and wisdom from selfish ambition. The wisdom from God expresses itself in behavior that is honoring to God, whereas the wisdom from bitterness and selfish ambition is scheming and deceitful.

Is this, selfish ambition tries to circumvent God's desire for our lives. If we are scheming and working in confusion to achieve or gain something, we're basically saying, "God, you don't really get it. I need this. I don't actually trust you. So, I'm smarter than you. K? Thanks."

Psalm 84:11 proclaims God's character: "No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." Rick observed, basically, "if we don't have it, we don't need it!"

Here's the logic train
1. God's is a giver. He is the definition of love and giving.
2. He gives us wisdom and reveals truth, which changes us.
3. Our behavior changes as a result of changed character; we walk "uprightly" and with "good conduct".
4. God gives more good things to us and does not withhold good things.
5. If hasn't given it, it either isn't good for us now or good for us at all. We don't need it.

What do I do with that?
Ask God to examine my heart. Am I seeking and scheming to gain something I don't need?
Ask God for wisdom. More wisdom, Lord! You promised it, Lord. Thank you! I want my heart to be like the wise in Proverbs 9:9: "Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
Trust the character of God in the midst of desire and turmoil.

Are you trusting God's character or scheming to get what you want?

Not Me! Monday

The fabulous Monday time in the confessional box!

I DID NOT serve my 14 month old skim milk with half and half because I was out of whole milk. I especially DID NOT do that because there was another full gallon of whole milk in the other fridge that I thought was skim. NOPE, I am totally aware of our home grocery inventory and substitute accordingly.

I DID NOT throw away Valentine's Day candy I found in the cupboard where I put the Halloween candy. I also DID NOT find some Halloween candy from last year either. NOPE, absolutely not.

I AM NOT obsessed with Snuggle Blue Sparkle fabric softener. Really NOT at all obsessed. I DO NOT smell every piece of laundry I fold because I like it so much. I DO NOT open the kitchen window because it is by the dryer vent and the fragrance can waft through the house. NOPE, not at all.

Sabrina DOES NOT make up her own worship songs all day long. They are NOT full of great theology. I AM NOT amazed and proud of this.

I WAS NOT disappointed that the soccer season for Chase & Stu is over. I WAS NOT surprised at how much I enjoyed practices and games!

I AM NOT eating up this little girl right now. Her personality HAS NOT arrived in full force!

I AM NOT quite strict about "screen time" in our house. So of course, I DID NOT put on a video for the girls to watch while I finished this post. NOPE, I would NEVER use the television as a babysitter. So I was of course NOT disappointed when Annalise didn't care at all about the video and continues to bring me books to read!

Happy Monday, all!

Friday Funnies

We Whitmers were not full of funtastic hilarity this week. Sorry, this is all I got.

Chase: "This is why I'm good at soccer. I'm short, so I'm low to the ground and I'm under 50 lbs."

Sabrina: Mom, why don't we just pop over to the store and pick up some candy? (Really? Because we don't have a cupboard-full?)

Stuart's team lost a Monday night game 4-2. The other team was really good and out-played them. Stu, getting in the van after the game, "Man, we lost face-down!"
I pondered, "Do you man hands down?"
Stu, "Yeah, totally. Face and hands down."

Mother AJ

I remember Sabrina playing with dolls, but I don't remember this much pretend this young. Always adorable!

New shoes

Hey, I put some new shoes on,
and suddenly everything is right,

I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
it so inviting,

Oh, short on money,
but long on time,
slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,

and i'm running late,
and i don't need an excuse,
'cause i'm wearing my brand new shoes.

Anger doesn't get us to the Goal

I write a monthly discipline column in a newsletter for moms. I don't tell a lot of people about it for a number of reasons. Firstly, who am I to write about discipline? I feel a bit foolish telling people. Also, if only a small number of people know I write it, then if I am bad at writing, not many people know I've failed! How's that for insecurity? 

ANYway, I've been challenged a lot recently to write. Write because it's cathartic, it's clarifying, and it's creative. Write because God teaches me when I think about writing. Write because I'm not very good, and I want to improve. Hopefully, I'll be a bit more consistent about writing and I'll get feedback from you!

Here's something that has come from Jubilee's series on James.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20

I don’t like anger. Well, really, who does? I don’t like the way I feel or how difficult it can be to react out of truth instead of anger. Recently, God has put this verse from James on my heart. Verse 20 hit me like a ton of bricks: “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Anger doesn’t accomplish righteousness. Getting angry at our children does not produce righteousness or self-discipline in them. So how do we deal with anger and discipline?

Admit it

When your child disobeys for the umpteenth time, admit to yourself that you are angry. Not simply frustrated, annoyed, or bothered, but angry! Why are you angry? Are you angry because you feel disrespected? Are you scared of what could or did happen? Are you annoyed that their disobedience creates more work for you? Are you seeing yourself in the mirror of your child? (I really hate that one!) To yourself, take a moment to analyze the trigger of your anger. Feel free to tell your child they need to wait a moment while you think about something. Acknowledging your anger helps you control your anger and not sin.

Take a Time Out

Do not discipline your child out of anger. Of course this simple statement is incredibly difficult at times! Avoiding our anger should not be the motivation of our children’s obedience. If you express your anger as a way to manipulate your child into obedience, fear will rule your child. God reminds us that love is our motivation for obedience to him (John 14:15); we want the same for our children. If you are angry, wait to discuss the issue and deal out the consequence. In our house, our children have to go to a specific place to wait for correction—under a light switch in our hallway. There’s nothing magic about that place, but it helps both parties cool down before we deal with the disobedience and heart issues. I’ve told my kids, “I’m too angry to help you right now. You need to wait here and both of us can calm down and regain control.” This works well even if no one has specifically disobeyed, but the situation is getting intense or out of control. Just as a side note, this is not storming off or slamming doors. Taking a deep breath and articulating your emotion and the next steps provides the gentle answer Proverbs 15:1 encourages.

Pray

If you find yourself being quick to anger much of the time, ask God to show you your heart. Warning: this can be scary! You may find yourself angry with one of your children more than another because of something in your heart that is reflected in his behavior. You may be angry with a friend, your spouse, or situation, but it’s coming out at your children. Psalm 139:23-24 encourages us to ask God to search our hearts and for Him to lead us to His way. Pray for your own heart and for your children. Ask to understand their hearts as well as your own. Freedom comes from the truth God reveals to us.

Anger doesn't get us to the goal. We will of course get angry with our kids, but using anger doesn't accomplish God's righteousness!

Not Me! Monday

Even though MckMama seems to be on a Not Me! Monday break, I will be sharing with you a few tidbits that DID NOT happen this past week.

SJ DOES NOT call her sister "Florence" and the doll "Fiona" when she plays house. She also DID NOT call her sister "Flower Garden" yesterday because of her Halloween costume. As in "Flower Garden, Flower Garden! Come here Flower Garden!" Nope, didn't happen.

I DID NOT use orange Kool-Aid to dye my oldest child's hair Ron Weasley red. These are not before, during, and after photos. Nope.

I DO NOT love his ginger hair so much! I especially HAVE NOT considered trying to convince him to actually dye his hair red. Nope, that would be silly.

He DID NOT get this idea because he read all of Harry Potter and the Sorcer's Stone and The Chamber of Secrets in 4 days. We DID NOT catch him reading with a flashlight at 11:15PM one night. Nope!

Mompetition is NOT my new favorite place to go if I just need to laugh!

Stu DID NOT spend breakfast this morning telling me what his Halloween costume plans until college graduation. He DOES NOT like dressing up that much.

My favorite new phrase is NOT "You're confusing your opinion with knowledge." I HAVE NOT said this to my oldest child multiple times this week. I HAVE NOT considered making a T-shirt.

I DID NOT have an absolutely crazy day on Tuesday. It was not a day hijacked by all sorts of insanity. By the end of the day I DID NOT feel like Tina Fey in the movie Date Night. Michael DID NOT suggest to me that I might want to sit alone and drink a Diet Sprite. I DID NOT laugh so hard I almost had to pull the car over to be safe! Nope, it was not that crazy of a day.

And of course, Michael and I DID NOT go through the kids Halloween candy and take all the good stuff out. We would never feel that was our right as parents! Not me!

This IS NOT typical of our house. Nope. Always calm and controlled around here!

Happy Monday and Happy November one and all!