Ask and you shall receive

I have felt myself being sucked into being consumed by this house. I've felt like I'm in a giant pool, being pulled by the water tornado toward the drain. I'm trying to keep my focus on God and the Kingdom, but I quickly turn my attention to the house again. Preparing our house, praying for a buyer, a quick sale, looking for a new house, wondering what will happen. It's almost like I'm watching myself fall into the trap. "Be careful, Jenn. You're starting to focus on yourself and not the Kingdom." I know God cares about every small and big thing in my life. We believe He's told us to move. I want a new house so I can fill it with people and use it for the Kingdom. I believe this house is His, as well as everything else; I am just a steward of the blessings God has given. Yet it's easy to focus on stewarding the blessings and not the One who gives them. So I've been praying, "God, help me seek the Kingdom first."

Amazing...God answers prayers like that!

Today reading Psalms 27-29, these thoughts and truths really blessed me and brought me peace.

27:4 One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.

That's really what I want, to dwell with God. To live my life with Him. In relationship with the most amazing being, Creator God. I want to dwell in His house, no matter where "my house" is and what it's like. I want to seek after Him, like a seek, pursue, and make time for a relationship with Michael. As long I'm with Him, why should I fear?

27:8 You have said, "Seek My face."
My heart says to You,
"Your face, LORD, do I seek."

It hit me tonight that seeking God's face isn't really just asking, "What should I do?" We say, "I need to seek God about that." But really, I will seek His face not to know what to do, but to know Him. I seek God to have intimacy with Him. That's what He wants. I do ask God for guidance and direction, of course. But mostly, worship and adoration, being in His presence, that's what I want.

Not me! Monday

This week was perfect. My children exhibited model behavior and I was forever patient. Really, I did none of the activities seen below. Other fun "Not me!" at www.mycharmingkids.net, AKA MckMama.

I DID NOT do an unbelievable happy dance on Tuesday when both my boys went back to school. I DID NOT even consider "forgetting" that I had to pick them up at 12:15 PM.

I DID NOT allow my children to watch two movies in one afternoon so I could keep packing. They of course read quietly in their rooms and played peacefully while I boxed up half the house.

I DID NOT eat ramen noddles from the saucepan while bathing my children. I am NOT sure that is the only time this week they were bathed.

I DID NOT eat all the edges of the leftover gooey butter cake.

While a painter was working at the house, I DID NOT drive around a 4 block circle about 5 times because the only place my children were remotely behaved was the car. I was NOT short with my husband that day when he was late.

I DID NOT lock my boys out of the house in our (fenced) backyard because they just needed to run around. I DID NOT make C jump up and down while he counted to 100 for the same reason. SA & SJ DID NOT join him jumping just for their own fun.

I always have a fully stocked fridge and pantry, so I DID NOT go to Schnucks in half pjs, no bra, unwashed face, and hat to get milk and something for breakfast on Sunday morning. I DID NOT see the director of development of my kids school when I looked liked a raccoon in rags.

I DID NOT sleep on the sofa for 3 nights this week because I couldn't handle the paint smell in my bedroom. I am NOT sore at all. I am NOT doing another happy dance because I get to sleep on The Cloud tonight. I have NOT named my bed, The Cloud.

I DO NOT have 3 blog entries in draft waiting to be finished because I've been so focused on getting the house ready. Some day!

Phew, I'm normal

Today I volunteered in Stuart's class. What a great experience. I pasted library envelopes into books. The perfect job for simply observing the class: no real thinking needed! Firstly, I reinforced my opinion that my child's teacher is AMAZING! Secondly, I learned my kids are normal! There was a great deal of squirming around, talking out of turn, and crying from frustration. I think sometimes I forget that other kids are doing the same things my kids do! It gives me so much hope to see the other children dealing with the same struggles my children do; not that I'm rejoicing in their pain, but in the fact that we're in it together. When I read to the class later, all those sweet eyes watching the pictures, it just makes your heart melt. Community, right there in Junior Kindergarten, struggles, frustrations, joys, and all.

Here's my thing then—struggles are normal and when you're not struggling alone, it makes the struggle easier.