Weapon in the Clothing War

I have a four year old future fashion diva in my house.
We have avoided a lot of power struggles with a few strategies

1. The 2-3 choice option. "Would you like to wear this or this today?"
2. Choosing clothes the night before.

Choosing clothes at night has become more difficult now that Annalise is awake during nighttime routine. So now we choose clothes for the week over the weekend and hang them in the closet with these!



I made them in (gasp!) Microsoft Word—sadly the only program on my computer I can create anything in!




I cut them out, took them to FedEx Kinkos (my new favorite place!) and had them laminated them for $2!

We choose clothes, socks, shorts, whatever goes with the outfit. We hang the tags on the outfits in her closet.



She feels in control every morning when she puts on the outfit. This is what avoids the conflict!


As a teachery side note, she is sounding out the initial sounds of the words and remembering the order of the days of the week.

So until we go to school uniforms (please!) this is my secret weapon in the clothing war.

(This is not an original idea. I've seen this on a blog a few years ago, but I can't remember where. She was a mom blogger/graphic designer with a way better design than mine! Feel free to use my mediocre designs.)

Routines

I'm not naturally a routine person. I would rather just see what happens and play it by ear. But when I started teaching, the reality of children and routines smacked me in the face! Children function better with predictability and routine. And why wouldn't they? They don't have the life experience to help them anticipate what's next.

Routines also are a huge help to discipline. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. As a parent, one of my goals is to raise self-controlled and self-disciplined children. I don't want to follow my children around, reminding them to brush their teeth and follow directions for the next 20 years; I want to teach them to do it themselves. Giving kids practice making their own decisions in small ways breeds a healthy self-respect. Children begin to realize they can accomplish tasks for themselves. Which is the kind of independence they'll need when they leave my house!

Routines also leave room for you to make important decisions. The mundane, yet necessary tasks have been decided when I established routines in advance. I can talk with one child about the day while the other is working on their next step of the routine. It's a lot easier to have an important conversation when you're not bickering in the morning over what clothes to wear.

Writing down and posting routines is huge part of using routines. When we write down routines, goals, lists, the space in our mind is freed to be creative and go on to the next step. Posting routines is the visual reminder of what we do everyday. Children need that cue: "This is what's normal for me today." 

I recently made up some new routines for the new school year. I am by no means artistic or a decorator, but I'm really happy these are finished and usable! I know they can be cuter, but these have the lovely quality of being completed.

For my preschooler, I made a flip chart routine that I put the routine into an inexpensive photo brag book from Target. Here a few pages from her routine.

Sabrina is awesome about grabbing her routine chart and going through it morning and night.


For my boys I've posted it in their room. I still need to put it in a frame behind glass to use it as a dry erase check list.




I also made a list of what goes into their bags for soccer and dance. When I was telling my first grader what to put in his dance bag, he politely said, "Mom, you don't have to tell me. I'll just follow my list." Mmm, smart kid!



Our family is so much more peaceful when we post our routines. There is so much less nagging and the responsibility falls to the child. I can just ask, "What's next on your routine?" rather than repeat directions.

Even though my natural bent is different, I've seen the great benefit of routines in our family!

More dinner conversations

I'm not sure how to blog about this conversation.
I'll set the scene and then just trust y'all are figure it out!

We were at dinner this evening discussing our plan and routine for the next day. As you read this, imagine that every time one of the kids is talking, they have interrupted. All the while Michael is trying to contain his laughter :-)

Me: Hey, guys, we have a busy day tomorrow. We're going to get up at 7 and do our normal morning routine. We'll leave at 8 to go to the Y.
Sabrina Joy: I go witch you? I go too?
Me: Yes, Sabrina, you'll come with us.
SJ: [pointing in her crooked finger fashion at Michael] Daddy stay here?
Me: No, honey, Daddy'll go to work.
Stuart Andrew: Yes, Daddy will go to work and you will stay with us.
Me: Yes, so we'll get up and go to the Y
SA: OK
SJ: Miss Esther be dere? [Esther is Sabrina's favorite child care worker at the Y]
Me: We'll see. She's usually there on Mondays.
Chase: Esther doesn't work on Thursdays.
Me: Yeah, we discovered that last week, didn't we.
SJ: Esther be dere. And Miss Linda?
Me: We'll have to find out tomorrow. So. We'll go to the Y
SA: OK
Me: Then we'll go to the Library.
SA: OK
Me:We have to remember to bring the leap pad kits so we can check out new ones. [We forgot them last week]
SA: Ya, because if we get there and we don't have dem, I'll go "Haaa-eey"!
Me: OH. K. Yes, so we'll go to the library and then we'll go to the park.
SA: OK
C: What are we going to do after the park?
Me: Well, after the park, we'll come home
SA: OK
Me: Stu, you don't have to say 'OK' every time. After the park, we'll come home and have lunch, then rest & nap. After rest, you can watch a program or the Curious George DVD we checked out last week.
C & SA: Yea!
Me: After that we have to go to Aldi.
C: What are we going to do after Aldi?
Me: We'll come home and have supper and do our nighttime routine.
C: [tilting his head in a knowing fashion] Mom, supper is part of our night time routine.
Me: Yes, so we'll do all that and go to bed.

[pregnant pause]

SA: Do I have school tomorrow?