Stuart the theologian

Just a couple funny stories that people have told me about Stuart recently.

Michael caught Stuart carrying some water into his room and then bringing it back out.

Micahel: What are you doing?
Stu: Oh, I was just baptizing Obi-Won Kenobi.


London recounted this about Stuart & Aidan's conversation on the way home:

Stuart: Oh, we played Star Wars at recess today. I was Yoga.
Aidan: Yo-DAH
Stuart: Yogda?
Aidan: Yo-DAH!
Stuart: Oh. Yea, and the other day I baptized Obi-Won Kenobi
Aidan: What's bapertized?
Stuart: It's when you go in the water and you get washed off of all your sins 'cause from then on you follow Jesus. (very matter of factly) But if you sin again, ya just pray.

Chase, the 80 year old, again

Chase: "I don't think I got through the whole sleep cycle. I only got through stages 1,2,3, and 4, non-R E M sleep."

Seriously had to pretend to cough to keep the laughter from spilling out.

Chase, the 80 year old

Reading my bible and Chase comes out of his room.
"Mom, I'm sore."
"Do you think it's from sleeping hard or working in the yard yesterday?"
"Oh, working yesterday, definitely. I don't think I even had R-E-M sleep" (spelled out, not said like a word)

Weddings on the mind...

I think it's a combination of the age and their aunt getting married, but the married talk around here is getting hysterical.

You may remember Stuart's declaration of future marriage to Ruthie a few weeks ago and Sabrina's serious dismay at that idea. Well, the next week he changed his mind and said he was going to marry Ella. He decided since Ella is almost five, she would be better than Ruth who is three.

Today the topic came up again in the car today.

Sabrina: Stuart, are you still going to marry Ruthie?
Stuart: Noooo. I'm marrying Ella.
Sabrina: But I want Ruthie to be my sister (she changes like he does!)
Stuart: I'm sorry, Sabrina, I'm going to marry Ella. We're going going to go to the church and ask the principal if we can get married and then we'll live somewhere and have some little kids.
Me: You know, Stuart, you need to ask Ella's daddy if you can marry her.
Stuart: Why?
Me: Because that's what boys do.
Chase: Does Ella have to ask Stuart's daddy?
Me: No.
Boys: Why?
Me: Well, boys are supposed to protect girls and until a girl gets married, her daddy protects her. So you need to ask him.
Stuart: (distraught) But! What if he says "no"?
Me: Well if you asked him now, he probably would say no. But when your older and out of high school, you could ask.
Stuart: Ok, I guess I'll just have to wait and ask later.
Sabrina: BUT I WANT RUTHIE TO BE MY SISTER!

How in the world are we going to have discussions when then there's a another voice in the conversational space?

Friday Funnies

Stuart: When I grow up, I'm gonna marry a girl.
Me: Yep. Do you think you already know who she is?
Stuart: I don't know. Maybe I could marry one of Sabrina's friends.
Sabrina: My friends at First Friends? [her mom's day out]
Me: Like who?
Stuart: Maybe Ruthie. I could marry Ruthie.
Sabrina: NO, NO, NO! You can't marry Ruthie! She's my friend!
Me: Sabrina, it's OK, then your friend would be your sister. Like Aunt Melissa and me.
Sabrina: [extremely long pause and then disbelievingly] No, Ruthie's my friend not my sister.
Chase: [from the back seat] I'm still not likely to marry.


And just a fun picture of the possible future Mrs. Whitmer & Sabrina

Children's Responses

We took our kids out for ice cream to tell them we were adding a new baby to the family. They were a riot! They each had their own responses.

Chase: Really? When?
Stuart: HUH?
Sabrina: Can I play and kiss the baby's toesies?

We talked some about when (August) and how far away it is, but how exciting it will be to have a new brother or sister. We asked what we should call the baby until it comes.

Chase: John. Yes, John.
Sabrina: I'm gonna call it Aleah.
Michael liked peanut. I thought that was too generic. I liked marshmallow, but that got shut down too. We didn't reach any conclusions.

This morning Sabrina was reminding Stuart about the baby.

Sabrina: Yes, my baby will come after my birthday and when I'm in 3K.

I'm glad they are so excited!

Funny responses

I've been chided recently for not blogging with enough frequency. So here are some tidbits from our crazy life recently.

At dinner a couple weeks ago, C's behavior cost him the privilege of eating with the family. (Don't you love how I phrased that?) There was great wailing and gnashing of teeth and I really can't overstate the wailing. He needs no hyperbole. After some time to calm down and the rest of us finished eating, we were ready to talk to C about his behavior. And true to being a foolish child, he was focused on his hunger and not the problem of his behavior.

Me: Why did you lose the privilege of eating with the family?
C: I can't answer because I'm soooo hungry! At breakfast I'm gonna eat everything even yours!
I'm SO going to overeat at breakfast.
(That'll teach me! He'll eat my food!)


In the car:
C: Mom, is the Grinch part owl?
Me: Why do you think the Grinch is part owl?
C: Well, his fur looks kinda feathery, but mostly because he can turn his head in almost a complete circle just like an owl.

We are memorizing Psalm 19 as family, so we read through it every night before bed. C is FAR ahead of the rest of us and tonight he wanted to see how far he could go. So he gets one of the last verse actually says, "then I will be blameless and I shall be acquitted of great transgression." C says, "Then I will be blameless and I shall be committed for great transgression." All I could see is him in a straight jacket, "committed for great transgression!"


At the YMCA, there are times when the kids get to play in the racket ball court, which is one of SJ's favorite places to play. Driving in the car past the Rocket Park in Maplewood, SJ says,
"Mom, it's just like the rocket court! Will I get to play in the rocket court today at the Y?"

Car Conversations

Chase: What are the Christmas colors?
Me: Red & green
Chase: Why?
Me: You know, I don't know why. We should investigate that.
Chase: I think it's red because of the blood of Jesus and green because that's Jesus' favorite color.
(Guess we don't need to investigate that!)

Chase: How old are Papa and Grandma Dellario
Me: They are 57 and 55.
Stuart: How old is Daddy?
Chase: He's 32.
Brief silence
Stuart: When you turn 30 you start to die.
(Lord help us!)

Stuart and Chase were hitting one another in the back of the van on the way home from school while each had a friend in the van.
Me: (after correcting them) I'm sure your friends are really surprised by how you're treating each other. You are being very unkind.
Stu's friend, Stewart G: I, for one, am not surprised.
(I'm not sure what that says about my kids, but I'm just gonna think it's because Stewart is the youngest of 4)

As I was getting Sabrina out of the car after the boys (again) being mean to one another,
Sabrina: I'm being kind, right, Mom?
(I guess the pleasing begins early)

What should we get Daddy?

Me: Boys, what do you think we should get Daddy for Christmas?
Stuart: (without hesitation) A bucket a paint!
Me: (suppressing laughter) Ok. Uh, anything else?
Stuart: A sofa!
Me: He already has a sofa
Chase: What about a chair?
Me: He already has a chair as well.
Stuart: We could get him a set of chairs.
Me: Where would we put a set of chairs?
Stuart: Right there, in the corner behind the green chair. (A place with about 12 inches of space)
Chase: What about putting the chairs in your room?
Me: Any other ideas?
Chase: (with serious angst) Ah, it's so hard because all I can think about are things I want for me!
(conversation continues with some decent ideas that I won't post because we may actually get him these things)
Me: You're going to use a little of your spend money and I'll add some too.
Chase: (still very concerned and whiny) But I want to use all my spend money to buy something for myself!

Ah, teaching the joy of gift giving and present purchasing!

Funny conversations again

My conversation with Stuart and Sabrina as we're walking through the parking lot from Target to World Market. This will only make sense to you if you've seen PBS Kids' show "Word World".

Stuart: Where are we going now?
Me: World Market. Can you find the sign with the big "W"?
Stuart: Oh! I see it! The "W" and the "M"
Sabrina: I see an "O"!
Stuart: It's just like "Word World", Mom! Everything is made out of words!
Sabrina: Where's Dog?


Chase had a play on Thursday. He was an announcer telling the story. I forgot my camera, so this is the sad cell phone video. However, you can just see his arm demonstrating Squanto. He had several parts, but this was the best of our "old man".






Michael and Chase had this conversation in the back yard.
Chase: Dad, I know why women have to marry.
Michael: Why?
Chase: Because women have babies, and they need money. And the men get them the money.



Sabrina is very into pretend play right now. She likes being 'the mommy' and uses that an excuse to attempt to get what she wants!

Sabrina: [sitting on my lap facing me and playing with my necklace] Ooo. Pretty. I'm the mommy. You the girl. I wear the necklace and go to work.

Another time she's playing with the computer
Me: Sabrina, hands off the computer. You can't play with it.
Sabrina: Oh, I'm the mommy. I can touch it.

Funny conversations

Stuart: How many times have I been to the moon?
Chase: Twice.
Stuart: No, how many times have I been to the moon?
Chase: Half the time.

--------

Sabrina (to Stuart on his bike): Stuart! Come back here.
Sabrina (to me): I gotta stand up and call Stuart's name
Me: Why?
Sabrina: 'Cause he didn't follow my directions.

Apples & Cows

Today Stuart had a field trip to a nearby apple orchard for that lovely primary school tradition of picking apples, making applesauce, etc. He was very excited. Sabrina kept asking where she was going on her trip. We were headed to a mall to meet Sarah, Mackauly, and Kenzie Crane, so she was excited about her trip too. This was our exchange as we left the carpool line:

S: I go see 'Kauly at the mall and Stuart going to the farm to feed the cows!
J: Yes, we are, but Stuart is going to pick apples.
S: What happened to the cows? (Arms up and everything!)
J: This farm doesn't have cows. They grow apples.
S: Stuart going to a farm with no cows?
J: Yes, he's going to pick apples.
S: I go see 'Kauly, and Stuart go to the apple farm to pick apples to feed the cows.

So much for the no cows on the farm!