I had an "ooo-my-heart-is-ugly" experience today.
I was frustrated. I only needed to go to Schnucks for 3 items. Just 3. I know it's the day before Thanksgiving, but I needed them today. Oh, and it's torrential rain. Seriously. Getting out the door should have taken 10 minutes because we were all dressed, just needed to use the bathroom and buckle in the van. Instead it took 35 minutes. Boy 1 & Girl 1 were bickering getting in the van, so they had to get out and back in again without arguing, which took 3 times. Baby wouldn't hold still to get her shoes on and then I realized I put them on the wrong foot. Boy 2 couldn't find his shoe that he was wearing 1 hour before. I was getting more and more agitated. I knew the entire trip, even with the crazy traffic should take 30 minutes and now it's taken us 35 to even pull out of our garage.
By the time we drove the 9/10 of a mile to get to the store, we had trouble finding a parking space. I wasn't really mad anymore, but just looking for any place, not just a close one. I was stuck at a parking lot "intersection" where someone was loading their SUV full of groceries by the front door. They were in a fine spot. The problem was the crazy guy behind them. He was yelling and honking. Completely obnoxious. I thought, "That pour woman is trying to go as fast as she can. She doesn't like getting wet either. Calm down." My heart melted for the woman loading groceries in the rain, doing the best she could.
And then God showed me my heart. I had been like the obnoxious man with my kids. I was getting frustrated and angry, which didn't help the situation; it really only slowed us down. My kids were doing the best they could (mostly!). I had prepared myself for the grocery to be crowded and full of people. I had prepared myself to be patient there with people and my kids. But at home, I just wanted it done. My expectations weren't met and I offered no room for compassion on my poor child who honestly couldn't remember where he put his shoes. I forgot "...as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."
I'm thankful God gave me this experience today. I'm sure the next few days will be full of opportunities to be impatient and frustrated. God fill my with You Spirit that I may have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.
Have a Thankful Heart this Thanksgiving!
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The only thing that can come out is what's in
Bryan continued the James series at Jubilee this week. Another excellent message from one my favorite books in the New Testament
. I also love Lamentations, but that's a post for another day.A few points that hit my heart
1. You are a product of your community.
Surround yourself with people who are real, loving, and honest. Allow space for people to speak into your life. As Bryan said, if you're not close enough for someone to offend you, how will have to opportunity to forgive? If no one ever rubs you the wrong way, how will you smooth your rough edges? The bible speaks of us as clay, and God uses community to mold us for His glory.
2. When ugliness comes out of you, it's because that's what's in you.
God uses opportunities when someone hurts/offends/angers/bothers/frustrates/irritates us to show us what's in our own hearts. Repeatedly, Jesus reminds us that what is in the heart is what comes out our mouths. When we live life in community and seek God, the ugliness of our sinful nature is bound to make an appearance. This can be incredibly painful. Sometimes the knocking is so hard because God is really digging out deep issues in our lives. The joy of community is forgiveness and sanctification. God uses these situations in our life to give us an opportunity to repent and to bring freedom in our lives.
3. Pride separates people
When you value yourself above others either in arrogance or false humility, you separate yourself from others. Protecting yourself from the pain of possible confrontation by withdrawal or a "too deep alarm" isolates you. You are cutting yourself off from the life God has for you in community.
Are you in your community or just around people?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Widsom
Rick Hein continued the James series by preaching to Jubilee's city location this past Sunday. He said many things that pricked my heart.
James 3:13-18 compares two kinds of wisdom: wisdom from God and wisdom from selfish ambition. The wisdom from God expresses itself in behavior that is honoring to God, whereas the wisdom from bitterness and selfish ambition is scheming and deceitful.
Is this, selfish ambition tries to circumvent God's desire for our lives. If we are scheming and working in confusion to achieve or gain something, we're basically saying, "God, you don't really get it. I need this. I don't actually trust you. So, I'm smarter than you. K? Thanks."
Psalm 84:11 proclaims God's character: "No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." Rick observed, basically, "if we don't have it, we don't need it!"
Here's the logic train
1. God's is a giver. He is the definition of love and giving.
2. He gives us wisdom and reveals truth, which changes us.
3. Our behavior changes as a result of changed character; we walk "uprightly" and with "good conduct".
4. God gives more good things to us and does not withhold good things.
5. If hasn't given it, it either isn't good for us now or good for us at all. We don't need it.
What do I do with that?
Ask God to examine my heart. Am I seeking and scheming to gain something I don't need?
Ask God for wisdom. More wisdom, Lord! You promised it, Lord. Thank you! I want my heart to be like the wise in Proverbs 9:9: "Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
Trust the character of God in the midst of desire and turmoil.
Are you trusting God's character or scheming to get what you want?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wednesday Wonderings or where I have an issue with laundry caps
Why are laundry caps so hard to decipher? I mean really.
First, they are so deceptively deep. On the outside, they're like, "Ooo, I may be a cavernous container, but my cap is so dainty, delicate, and delightful. You'll only use a drop; you'll save the earth from useless, detergent waste."
Then, you're at home at the washer and you open the itty bitty lid. And Woah! There is this whole sub-terranean area coming out of this lid! Seriously, I can hear the echo of my "woah." And somewhere down there is my dainty, little number 1 line. All I can see is a 6. Or is that at 9? I can't really tell because the line, the number, and the cap are all the same color. I flip to the back of the bottle. "For a normal load, go to line 1 and a heavy load, line 2." What? So why even have the 6 on the cap? Did someone just like drawing lines? Forget saving the earth; I have children crawling on couches upstairs! Throw in line 6 and the noxious wash and be done with it!
Why don't minivans and station wagons and SUVs come with a limo glass option? You know, the kind that slides up and down just behind the front seats. That bit of privacy glass could come down if there were a problem, but save the drivers ears from the sounds of bickering. It would be like, "Go to your room and work it out" for the car. I mean seriously? I would pay more money for that than a DVD player.
When did pipe cleaners become Chenille craft sticks? Are we terrified our children will go make a corn cob pipe and smoke some tobacco because they want to use a green, glittery pipe cleaner? Because, well, I was thinking about smoking a pipe, but since I can only find chenille craft sticks, I'm going to stay clean. Well, that and Nancy Reagan told me "Just say No."
First, they are so deceptively deep. On the outside, they're like, "Ooo, I may be a cavernous container, but my cap is so dainty, delicate, and delightful. You'll only use a drop; you'll save the earth from useless, detergent waste."
Then, you're at home at the washer and you open the itty bitty lid. And Woah! There is this whole sub-terranean area coming out of this lid! Seriously, I can hear the echo of my "woah." And somewhere down there is my dainty, little number 1 line. All I can see is a 6. Or is that at 9? I can't really tell because the line, the number, and the cap are all the same color. I flip to the back of the bottle. "For a normal load, go to line 1 and a heavy load, line 2." What? So why even have the 6 on the cap? Did someone just like drawing lines? Forget saving the earth; I have children crawling on couches upstairs! Throw in line 6 and the noxious wash and be done with it!
Why don't minivans and station wagons and SUVs come with a limo glass option? You know, the kind that slides up and down just behind the front seats. That bit of privacy glass could come down if there were a problem, but save the drivers ears from the sounds of bickering. It would be like, "Go to your room and work it out" for the car. I mean seriously? I would pay more money for that than a DVD player.
When did pipe cleaners become Chenille craft sticks? Are we terrified our children will go make a corn cob pipe and smoke some tobacco because they want to use a green, glittery pipe cleaner? Because, well, I was thinking about smoking a pipe, but since I can only find chenille craft sticks, I'm going to stay clean. Well, that and Nancy Reagan told me "Just say No."
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Ten on Tuesday
1. Michael and I are looking a really busy January. He is working Saturdays just to keep up. He has 3 trade shows in January. He will be gone in Atlanta the entire last week of January. More on that later.
2. I'm contemplating getting family pictures taken this spring. We've not had family photos since I was pregnant with Sabrina. Any suggestions for family photos in St. Louis with kids our kids' ages.
3. We've taken down the Christmas tree, but not finished putting away all the decorations. My goal is MLK weekend!
4. My 4 hours of sleep from Saturday night is really catching up with me. I'm a touch crabby and trying to hide it.
5. I've been studying a small bit on missionaries that go to Islamic nations. It's no surprise that this has been a much debated topic for centuries. I read an two contrasting positions on the topic. Charles Foster writing in 1845 said that we shouldn't hold Mohammad to the standard of Christ, but rather Moses. I found this argument a complete fallacy. Why should we not compare Mohammad to Christ? He is the standard by which we are all compared; therefore, we all fall short because of Christ's standard of perfection. Without his sinless divinity, there would be no gracious salvation. Romans reminds us "there is no distinction [among people]: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." Moses was judged by the standard of Christ, therefore; so should Mohammad. Just a little something deep for y'all.
6. Samantha has been playing a game she had as a kid with the children. I don't remember the name of it, but it has to with fantasy monsters and ambushes and my kids love it. Sabrina gets bored of it and walks away about half way through.
7. Chase typically is quite grouchy when I pick him up from school. I don't know why this is and bothers me; however, I am not responsible for his attitude, and I can't really change it. But today he hopped in the car and said, "I'm in such a good mood I want to tell you all about my day and all my others days!"
8. We've decided Chase is not going to participate in chess tournaments this year. With what our January is like (it' s only 6 weeks) and having a 4-month-old, it's just a bit much. But I grieve a bit for him. Being an only child until I could drive (yes my sister just graduated from high school), sometimes it's hard for me to make choices where one child has to sacrifice for the good of the family. I know he's only 7, and he has many years left to compete, but it's hard for me to ask him to give up an opportunity.
9. Sabrina is totally into Fancy Nancy books. We have to read Fancy Nancy everyday. Sabrina can tell you that a fancy word for shiny is iridescent and aubergine is a fancy word for purple. Also that RSVP means "Répondez s'il vous plaît" or please reply.
10. Stuart is really learning how to read. Chase was so different. He could read a book by himself without help at 3 1/2. Stuart is 5 1/2 and his journey to literacy has been so different. His education is such a group effort! And in some ways, more satisfying because of the greater effort. But it is just as exciting to listen to him struggle with a word and finally succeed!
Just a bonus picture
2. I'm contemplating getting family pictures taken this spring. We've not had family photos since I was pregnant with Sabrina. Any suggestions for family photos in St. Louis with kids our kids' ages.
3. We've taken down the Christmas tree, but not finished putting away all the decorations. My goal is MLK weekend!
4. My 4 hours of sleep from Saturday night is really catching up with me. I'm a touch crabby and trying to hide it.
5. I've been studying a small bit on missionaries that go to Islamic nations. It's no surprise that this has been a much debated topic for centuries. I read an two contrasting positions on the topic. Charles Foster writing in 1845 said that we shouldn't hold Mohammad to the standard of Christ, but rather Moses. I found this argument a complete fallacy. Why should we not compare Mohammad to Christ? He is the standard by which we are all compared; therefore, we all fall short because of Christ's standard of perfection. Without his sinless divinity, there would be no gracious salvation. Romans reminds us "there is no distinction [among people]: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." Moses was judged by the standard of Christ, therefore; so should Mohammad. Just a little something deep for y'all.
6. Samantha has been playing a game she had as a kid with the children. I don't remember the name of it, but it has to with fantasy monsters and ambushes and my kids love it. Sabrina gets bored of it and walks away about half way through.
7. Chase typically is quite grouchy when I pick him up from school. I don't know why this is and bothers me; however, I am not responsible for his attitude, and I can't really change it. But today he hopped in the car and said, "I'm in such a good mood I want to tell you all about my day and all my others days!"
8. We've decided Chase is not going to participate in chess tournaments this year. With what our January is like (it' s only 6 weeks) and having a 4-month-old, it's just a bit much. But I grieve a bit for him. Being an only child until I could drive (yes my sister just graduated from high school), sometimes it's hard for me to make choices where one child has to sacrifice for the good of the family. I know he's only 7, and he has many years left to compete, but it's hard for me to ask him to give up an opportunity.
9. Sabrina is totally into Fancy Nancy books. We have to read Fancy Nancy everyday. Sabrina can tell you that a fancy word for shiny is iridescent and aubergine is a fancy word for purple. Also that RSVP means "Répondez s'il vous plaît" or please reply.
10. Stuart is really learning how to read. Chase was so different. He could read a book by himself without help at 3 1/2. Stuart is 5 1/2 and his journey to literacy has been so different. His education is such a group effort! And in some ways, more satisfying because of the greater effort. But it is just as exciting to listen to him struggle with a word and finally succeed!
Just a bonus picture
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wednesday Wonderings
Why do we spend so much time with things that don't matter? Why does the mundane capture our attention? Why does the temporal take precedence over the eternal?
It's so easy for me to get caught up in "getting things done". Probably because there is so much to do. I have four kids; I have four kids who are 7 and under. I have a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old and a four-month-old. I have a household to cook, clean, and clothe. I coordinate with our renters. I drive to CCS 3 times a day for carpool. I write for an online newsletter. I have a tight budget to keep, schedules to coordinate, and 116 teeth to brush (give or take a few!) My "to-do" lists can get pretty long, and they never get finished. Ever. No matter how short I make them, they never get finished. They have their own notebook (I tried to make myself feel better by getting a lovely pink moleskine to write my lists in). So it's no wonder I get caught up in accomplishing tasks.
All these duties are reality, but God clearly directs us to not worry, to store up treasures in heaven, to choose the better thing, Martha. And I've never heard one person say at the end of their life, "Really, I look back and wish I would have cleaned my kitchen better and just got that one last load of laundry folded."
So what is it? Why is it so easy to shift my focus from the eternal—relationships—to the material? It's not like I'm a perfectionist or obsessively clean (really not that!) I think it has to do with the misappropriation value and accomplishment. Reality is my value is determined by the worth God places on me. Well, He sent His son to die for me, by no virtue of my own, I have great value because God says I do. But this world, and our culture in particular, really loves accomplishment. We even have a name for it—Puritan Work Ethic. We ask each other, "What have you been doing?" "What did you do today?" (Please don't misinterpret this to think we should work. Work is a gift from God and we should work with all heart as unto the Lord. This is a different thing.) But here's where we run into trouble: when your value comes from your accomplishments instead of who values you. When I start seeing my life that way, it becomes so easy to get caught up in chores and errands, because it makes me feel better about myself. "Look at what I've done!" But Jesus, He calls us to something different.
Luke 10:38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
My value doesn't increase, only my love for Jesus. I remind myself this so while the laundry basket sits in the living room and the dishes sit on the counter, I will sit to read with my kids or spend some time with God. I get to spend eternity with them, and thankfully, not the laundry.
It's so easy for me to get caught up in "getting things done". Probably because there is so much to do. I have four kids; I have four kids who are 7 and under. I have a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old and a four-month-old. I have a household to cook, clean, and clothe. I coordinate with our renters. I drive to CCS 3 times a day for carpool. I write for an online newsletter. I have a tight budget to keep, schedules to coordinate, and 116 teeth to brush (give or take a few!) My "to-do" lists can get pretty long, and they never get finished. Ever. No matter how short I make them, they never get finished. They have their own notebook (I tried to make myself feel better by getting a lovely pink moleskine to write my lists in). So it's no wonder I get caught up in accomplishing tasks.
All these duties are reality, but God clearly directs us to not worry, to store up treasures in heaven, to choose the better thing, Martha. And I've never heard one person say at the end of their life, "Really, I look back and wish I would have cleaned my kitchen better and just got that one last load of laundry folded."
So what is it? Why is it so easy to shift my focus from the eternal—relationships—to the material? It's not like I'm a perfectionist or obsessively clean (really not that!) I think it has to do with the misappropriation value and accomplishment. Reality is my value is determined by the worth God places on me. Well, He sent His son to die for me, by no virtue of my own, I have great value because God says I do. But this world, and our culture in particular, really loves accomplishment. We even have a name for it—Puritan Work Ethic. We ask each other, "What have you been doing?" "What did you do today?" (Please don't misinterpret this to think we should work. Work is a gift from God and we should work with all heart as unto the Lord. This is a different thing.) But here's where we run into trouble: when your value comes from your accomplishments instead of who values you. When I start seeing my life that way, it becomes so easy to get caught up in chores and errands, because it makes me feel better about myself. "Look at what I've done!" But Jesus, He calls us to something different.
Luke 10:38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed.a]">[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
My value doesn't increase, only my love for Jesus. I remind myself this so while the laundry basket sits in the living room and the dishes sit on the counter, I will sit to read with my kids or spend some time with God. I get to spend eternity with them, and thankfully, not the laundry.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Thursday Thoughts
- I have moments of complete break-down that often lead to break-though
- I have far more patience than I think I have
- Being thankful completely changes my attitude
- Scripture always realigns my perspective
- I like listening to podcasts, following twitter and blogs way to much
- I want to move so badly I may just scream (There I did it, that was better. Oh, but I still want to move)
- My children are amazingly independent and there's a small part of me that wishes that they weren't
- I really hate the misuse of reply all
- Prayer changes me and encourages others
Thursday, March 26, 2009
SOAP today
S:
Psalm 119:34-35
Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
and observe it with my whole heart.
Lead me in the path of your commandments,
for I delight in it.
O:
We need understanding in order to live by Kingdom ways. That I can observe with my whole heart. The psalmist asks God to give him understanding. Understanding isn't gained; it's given. It's given in order to change our lives. The psalmists asked to be lead. He delights in the commandants of God, but recognizes he can't find it alone. Beginning with understanding and then asking to be lead.
A:
God is so gracious that He gives us the understanding to live His way. I want to walk in the right path, because I do delight in the freedom of living by Kingdom ways. Today I ask God to give me understanding, that I can follow Him.
P:
Jesus, you paid the price that I don't have to keep every rule of the law to enter your Kingdom. You have justified my sin by your sacrifice. Sanctify me, change me to live and observe your ways with my whole heart. Give me understanding and wisdom. I need you today; lead my down Your path. Holy Spirit give me understanding that I will whole-heartedly observe your perfect law, because it is a delight!
Delighting in God's ways doesn't mean I'm always happy. Psalm 119:50,"This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life." My comfort isn't that things change, but that I have life based on the unchanging promise of God.
Psalm 119:34-35
Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
and observe it with my whole heart.
Lead me in the path of your commandments,
for I delight in it.
O:
We need understanding in order to live by Kingdom ways. That I can observe with my whole heart. The psalmist asks God to give him understanding. Understanding isn't gained; it's given. It's given in order to change our lives. The psalmists asked to be lead. He delights in the commandants of God, but recognizes he can't find it alone. Beginning with understanding and then asking to be lead.
A:
God is so gracious that He gives us the understanding to live His way. I want to walk in the right path, because I do delight in the freedom of living by Kingdom ways. Today I ask God to give me understanding, that I can follow Him.
P:
Jesus, you paid the price that I don't have to keep every rule of the law to enter your Kingdom. You have justified my sin by your sacrifice. Sanctify me, change me to live and observe your ways with my whole heart. Give me understanding and wisdom. I need you today; lead my down Your path. Holy Spirit give me understanding that I will whole-heartedly observe your perfect law, because it is a delight!
Delighting in God's ways doesn't mean I'm always happy. Psalm 119:50,"This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life." My comfort isn't that things change, but that I have life based on the unchanging promise of God.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Hurry up and Wait.
I have multiple personalities. (Some of you are saying, "I knew it!")
One personality is completely at peace with the entire process of selling and buying a new house. I don't doubt in the least God's timing, His provision, or His care for us. I believe fully in His will working out in my life. I can be patient because I have trust in Him. I believe the Kingdom is more important than my house and that our shelter is in His hands.
The other personality just doesn't want to do it. We've been preparing to leave this place for 2 years. We've remodeled, repaired, maintained, painted, pruned, cleaned, thrown out, and staged. My heart has left this place as home. I don't want to wait any more. I don't want to go through it. I can look at new houses online, but not visit them. I can think about packing, but not open a box. I even forget that I'm pregnant sometimes because I have no where to put this child and all our baby things are in storage. I don't want the holding pattern of keeping the house ready to show at any moment. The four year old in me is "I don't wanna."
It's weird not to feel worried at all, but annoyed at the same time. I fully believe and know God is with us and guiding us through this process, but I just want it to be over. I want to learn what God has for me in this season, but I would rather it be over quickly.
I understand the reality is 90 days to sell in this market, but my hope & faith in God says He can do it in 9. And I would really like that. God will glorify Himself in this process and, really, that's the most important thing, to both personalities.
One personality is completely at peace with the entire process of selling and buying a new house. I don't doubt in the least God's timing, His provision, or His care for us. I believe fully in His will working out in my life. I can be patient because I have trust in Him. I believe the Kingdom is more important than my house and that our shelter is in His hands.
The other personality just doesn't want to do it. We've been preparing to leave this place for 2 years. We've remodeled, repaired, maintained, painted, pruned, cleaned, thrown out, and staged. My heart has left this place as home. I don't want to wait any more. I don't want to go through it. I can look at new houses online, but not visit them. I can think about packing, but not open a box. I even forget that I'm pregnant sometimes because I have no where to put this child and all our baby things are in storage. I don't want the holding pattern of keeping the house ready to show at any moment. The four year old in me is "I don't wanna."
It's weird not to feel worried at all, but annoyed at the same time. I fully believe and know God is with us and guiding us through this process, but I just want it to be over. I want to learn what God has for me in this season, but I would rather it be over quickly.
I understand the reality is 90 days to sell in this market, but my hope & faith in God says He can do it in 9. And I would really like that. God will glorify Himself in this process and, really, that's the most important thing, to both personalities.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Ask and you shall receive
I have felt myself being sucked into being consumed by this house. I've felt like I'm in a giant pool, being pulled by the water tornado toward the drain. I'm trying to keep my focus on God and the Kingdom, but I quickly turn my attention to the house again. Preparing our house, praying for a buyer, a quick sale, looking for a new house, wondering what will happen. It's almost like I'm watching myself fall into the trap. "Be careful, Jenn. You're starting to focus on yourself and not the Kingdom." I know God cares about every small and big thing in my life. We believe He's told us to move. I want a new house so I can fill it with people and use it for the Kingdom. I believe this house is His, as well as everything else; I am just a steward of the blessings God has given. Yet it's easy to focus on stewarding the blessings and not the One who gives them. So I've been praying, "God, help me seek the Kingdom first."
Amazing...God answers prayers like that!
Today reading Psalms 27-29, these thoughts and truths really blessed me and brought me peace.
That's really what I want, to dwell with God. To live my life with Him. In relationship with the most amazing being, Creator God. I want to dwell in His house, no matter where "my house" is and what it's like. I want to seek after Him, like a seek, pursue, and make time for a relationship with Michael. As long I'm with Him, why should I fear?
It hit me tonight that seeking God's face isn't really just asking, "What should I do?" We say, "I need to seek God about that." But really, I will seek His face not to know what to do, but to know Him. I seek God to have intimacy with Him. That's what He wants. I do ask God for guidance and direction, of course. But mostly, worship and adoration, being in His presence, that's what I want.
Amazing...God answers prayers like that!
Today reading Psalms 27-29, these thoughts and truths really blessed me and brought me peace.
27:4 One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.
That's really what I want, to dwell with God. To live my life with Him. In relationship with the most amazing being, Creator God. I want to dwell in His house, no matter where "my house" is and what it's like. I want to seek after Him, like a seek, pursue, and make time for a relationship with Michael. As long I'm with Him, why should I fear?
27:8 You have said, "Seek My face."
My heart says to You,
"Your face, LORD, do I seek."
It hit me tonight that seeking God's face isn't really just asking, "What should I do?" We say, "I need to seek God about that." But really, I will seek His face not to know what to do, but to know Him. I seek God to have intimacy with Him. That's what He wants. I do ask God for guidance and direction, of course. But mostly, worship and adoration, being in His presence, that's what I want.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The True Savior
I was in Wal-Mart this past week overheard this quick exchange between two employees that sparked my thoughts.
Lady 1: You wanna put this bumper sticker on your car? (Toys for Tots sticker)
Lady 2: Oh, no way! If I'm gonna put something on my car it's gonna say "Jesus" or "Obama".
Now I have to say, I've been really excited that our nation has been able to elect an minority to our highest office. It is really a wonderful thing. He personifies the American Dream, the pull yourself up from the humblest of beginnings, the most difficult circumstances, and work hard to thrive and achieve everything. That is truly exciting to me.
Nevertheless, President-Elect Obama, and the rest of our governmental system, is not our savior. Much of the hype and excitement surrounding Obama and the coming inauguration is misplaced. January 20, 2009 doesn't change our individual lives. Money isn't going to rain down and a chauffeur isn't going to appear to do carpool at my house. Washington doesn't provide for us; God does; and he always provides what's best. (I wish the chauffeur, but probably not the best!) There was something about the Wal-Mart employee's speech that seemed to equate Jesus and Obama that simply grated on me. The President-Elect cannot solve our biggest problem: sin.
Is Obama a great leader? Unquestionably. Can he inspire a nation? Absolutely. Did he die for us? Certainly not! Does he make the sun rise and the stars to shine? Never! My savior is the God of all creation, who will protect me from evil and keep my soul!
As we approach this new adventure in our nation's history, keep in mind who is in control, who provides for you, and who solves the real problem in your life.
Lady 1: You wanna put this bumper sticker on your car? (Toys for Tots sticker)
Lady 2: Oh, no way! If I'm gonna put something on my car it's gonna say "Jesus" or "Obama".
Now I have to say, I've been really excited that our nation has been able to elect an minority to our highest office. It is really a wonderful thing. He personifies the American Dream, the pull yourself up from the humblest of beginnings, the most difficult circumstances, and work hard to thrive and achieve everything. That is truly exciting to me.
Nevertheless, President-Elect Obama, and the rest of our governmental system, is not our savior. Much of the hype and excitement surrounding Obama and the coming inauguration is misplaced. January 20, 2009 doesn't change our individual lives. Money isn't going to rain down and a chauffeur isn't going to appear to do carpool at my house. Washington doesn't provide for us; God does; and he always provides what's best. (I wish the chauffeur, but probably not the best!) There was something about the Wal-Mart employee's speech that seemed to equate Jesus and Obama that simply grated on me. The President-Elect cannot solve our biggest problem: sin.
Is Obama a great leader? Unquestionably. Can he inspire a nation? Absolutely. Did he die for us? Certainly not! Does he make the sun rise and the stars to shine? Never! My savior is the God of all creation, who will protect me from evil and keep my soul!
As we approach this new adventure in our nation's history, keep in mind who is in control, who provides for you, and who solves the real problem in your life.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Perspective
Today was a rough day. A day of normal life, but difficult for me to make right choices in my mind, my heart, my actions. Our children were inventing new ways of testing limits, so my day was spent parenting, not much else, just parenting. The hard part is disciplining and training without anger. My heart and body are drained from simply controlling my emotions today. I've really just lost track of the many difficulties of today, but at the end of the day, we all survived. God willing, everyone also learned something.
All day I was asking for God to show me and guide me, but I felt such gratefulness when I was reading some posts from a friend. A good friend from my childhood has a son who is extremely ill. His name is Grant and this is is CaringBridge Website. My day was hard, but they are watching their 8 year old deteriorate before their eyes. And still, God is sustaining them and Grant. My heart breaks when I read their family's struggles, but God is still with them. They are suffering well.
There are times in life that are challenging, and I want to glorify God in those. But there are other times in life that are indescribably painful. When those times come, I want to suffer well. I want it to count, to mean something, to glorify God.
Please pray for this family.
All day I was asking for God to show me and guide me, but I felt such gratefulness when I was reading some posts from a friend. A good friend from my childhood has a son who is extremely ill. His name is Grant and this is is CaringBridge Website. My day was hard, but they are watching their 8 year old deteriorate before their eyes. And still, God is sustaining them and Grant. My heart breaks when I read their family's struggles, but God is still with them. They are suffering well.
There are times in life that are challenging, and I want to glorify God in those. But there are other times in life that are indescribably painful. When those times come, I want to suffer well. I want it to count, to mean something, to glorify God.
Please pray for this family.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Humility and Strength
A few weeks ago, I was upset with my husband. We really hadn't had some time to talk it out, and for me, that is really vital to resolving conflict. So, I was sitting on some anger and disappointment for a few days. At a meeting, a couple friends asked how I was. I said I was working through being mad at my husband. I didn't think much of the conversations; however, two of the people came back to me to say that they appreciated my honesty and transparency. My sharing gave them some confidence that they are normal and some hope that they can work through things as well. Once again, I didn't really think much about it at the time.
Then this past week, I've discovered a few friends have walked away from God, and the results have hurt my heart. In all the situations, deception and lack of transparency have significantly contributed to the problem. The maintenance of the appearance of normalcy has isolated each person from the love and support available to them; the consequences have been disastrous.
So, I've been thinking about those conversations, a lot. I've been thanking God for the gift of repentance. I've been thanking Him for the tenacity within me to be open with people. Thank you for the grace of Jesus in my life that is His gift. Kingdom thinking is an Opposite World. We think that we should appear as if we "have it all together”; Kingdom thinking is, "here are my weakness and my struggles". Our thinking produces isolation and dishonesty, because, no one has it all together, and we don't want to be around people who do. Kingdom thinking endears us to people who are attracted by humility, and are encouraged by feeling like they can identify and connect with someone else.
This is God's love for us—vulnerability can bring us protection; humility, strength.
Then this past week, I've discovered a few friends have walked away from God, and the results have hurt my heart. In all the situations, deception and lack of transparency have significantly contributed to the problem. The maintenance of the appearance of normalcy has isolated each person from the love and support available to them; the consequences have been disastrous.
So, I've been thinking about those conversations, a lot. I've been thanking God for the gift of repentance. I've been thanking Him for the tenacity within me to be open with people. Thank you for the grace of Jesus in my life that is His gift. Kingdom thinking is an Opposite World. We think that we should appear as if we "have it all together”; Kingdom thinking is, "here are my weakness and my struggles". Our thinking produces isolation and dishonesty, because, no one has it all together, and we don't want to be around people who do. Kingdom thinking endears us to people who are attracted by humility, and are encouraged by feeling like they can identify and connect with someone else.
This is God's love for us—vulnerability can bring us protection; humility, strength.
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