Hurry up and Wait.

I have multiple personalities. (Some of you are saying, "I knew it!")

One personality is completely at peace with the entire process of selling and buying a new house. I don't doubt in the least God's timing, His provision, or His care for us. I believe fully in His will working out in my life. I can be patient because I have trust in Him. I believe the Kingdom is more important than my house and that our shelter is in His hands.

The other personality just doesn't want to do it. We've been preparing to leave this place for 2 years. We've remodeled, repaired, maintained, painted, pruned, cleaned, thrown out, and staged. My heart has left this place as home. I don't want to wait any more. I don't want to go through it. I can look at new houses online, but not visit them. I can think about packing, but not open a box. I even forget that I'm pregnant sometimes because I have no where to put this child and all our baby things are in storage. I don't want the holding pattern of keeping the house ready to show at any moment. The four year old in me is "I don't wanna."

It's weird not to feel worried at all, but annoyed at the same time. I fully believe and know God is with us and guiding us through this process, but I just want it to be over. I want to learn what God has for me in this season, but I would rather it be over quickly.

I understand the reality is 90 days to sell in this market, but my hope & faith in God says He can do it in 9. And I would really like that. God will glorify Himself in this process and, really, that's the most important thing, to both personalities.