Crawling along

I am beyond weary of selling this house and finding a new place to live. My children are in a stage of life that requires vast amounts of energy to parent, something I have in short supply. My pregnancy has turned the home stretch and I'm close to single-digit-week-countdown. We can't seem to sell our house and it is enigmatic. We can't seem to find a place to rent. I am existing in a season where my hopes are dashed at every turn. Every plan and direction we feel like God is taking us is thwarted for inexplicable reasons. I really struggle to describe the emotional roller coaster in a way that conveys the way I feel. I know it could be a whole lot worse, but that doesn't make me feel better. I'm positive I'm not at the bottom of the barrel, but that too, doesn't make me feel better.

These two things make me feel better.

"My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus blood and righteousness."
God is with me and I am righteous before Him because of the blood of Christ. That's what He promised. He is not leaving me.

Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

I'm not soaring with wings. I'm not running. Really I'm barely walking, but crawling. But God says he will renew my strength and I won't faint.

So for now, I just know that my real hope is in Jesus, God is with me, and He will renew my strength and help me put one foot in front of the other. Currently, that's all I can do.

Not me! Monday

Oh yes. Happy Monday all! Visit MckMama for more not me fun!

This week I DID NOT cry every day. Nope, I'm totally in control of my emotions.

My youngest DID NOT turn 3 this week. She DID NOT ask me everyday this week, "Am I still 3?"

I DID NOT stuff the washing machine full of dirty clothes to the point the lid didn't even bang shut in order to clean up for the Open House on Sunday. Of course, I do laundry on a routine, so there is never piles of laundry around. I am NOT currently working my way through 6 loads of laundry today. I would ever procrastinate like that.

I am NOT audibly hearing the countdown of this baby coming, no matter what the house does!

I DID NOT decide on Saturday that I couldn't wait any longer to start preparing for this baby. SO I DID NOT discuss with Michael buying a twin bed for her, find one on Craig's list, and buy it that day. She DID NOT have a perfect first night in her big girl bed!

Lastly, I have NOT discovered I have no control in my life. None. God is in control and that is enough. As a psychological response to this discovery, I DID NOT dye my hair cartoon red. Nope, not me!



Have a great week!

Wordy Wednesday

These are phrases I say so much, I wish I could just press a device that plays my voice in surround sound when one of these sentences needs to be said. Better yet, some kind of automated system that recognizes the situation and then my voice plays. Oh, well, I guess that's job security as a parent!


"Stop annoying your brother/sister/me/the cat."
"Get in the van." (This one really blows my mind. They will often stand outside the van wondering what to do)
"Gently, please"
"Fingers out of noses"
"Close the closet door"
"Don't lick that; it's not food."
"Stop shouting"
"You are not in charge"
"Walk, please. Don't stop in the middle of the doorway."
"Stop slamming the doors"
"Chew and swallow before you talk"
"Stop running in the house"
"Wipe your bottom and get off the toilet."
"The toilet is for going pee and poop, not as a reading post."
"I love you" (there's always some good!"

Not me! Monday

Oh yes! Monday a la MckMama! I DID NOT engage in any of the following this past week. Anyone who says differently is simply spreading malicious lies!

I DID NOT have strawberries and cream (well, whipped) for dessert one night. I did not add more more whipped cream to the bowl telling myself I was simply finishing off the can of whipped cream.

I DID NOT thoroughly enjoy my Mother's Day celebration of sleeping in, naps, Chinese food, and a movie with the kids!

I DID NOT have a girls' night because I'd been crying to much. It WAS NOT a fabulous time!

Stuart is NOT obsessed with the future prospect of marrying Ella. He DID NOT tell me he was going to ask Bryan on Sunday if he could marry Ella when they grow up.

All of the kids are NOT completely taken with the Pigeon Books, particularly Don't Let the Pigeon Stay up Late. Stuart and Sabrina DO NOT take turns "reading" it to one another. Chase DOES NOT repeat the lines at random.

My husband DID NOT get the boys hair cut and bring them home with short spiky hair. I DID NOT almost cry when I saw them. I WAS NOT completely surprised by this change in hair.

I AM NOT utterly exhausted with my house still for sale. I DO NOT have only 3 months left until this baby comes. I AM NOT at all concerned with what to do and where to put this one. I DO NOT pray constantly that my house will sell. I DO NOT feel like "forget the cheese, let me out of the trap!"

Have a great week!

Not me! Monday

Oh, yes! It's Monday! MckMama and Not me! Monday has returned.

I DID NOT take my children to breakfast on Tuesday because we had an Open House and I didn't want them touching anything! I DID NOT have to shower at a friend's house that day b/c I forgot my bag at the Y.

This week I DID NOT have a total breakdown on Friday. I DID NOT have tears streaming down my face while trying to pick up my son from a birthday party. I DID NOT continue to cry through carpool.

I DID NOT wake up to a vomiting child on Sunday morning. We DID NOT have another Open House that day. Never would that happen!

I DID NOT forget to close my van door for hours this week. The inside of the van is not covered in neon green pollen. Nope, I always remember to close doors.

Have a great week!