Not me! Monday

Ah, Monday! This week was full and I'm sure MckMama has even more!

I DID NOT spend 20 minutes refreshing MckMama's page waiting for Not Me! Monday last week. I DID NOT desperately need to pee during this time. I am NOT that obsessive about things. I DID NOT give up and then try again 10 minutes later to see it posted and I was number 39. I would never spend that long wasting time on anything.

While working on an auction project that DID NOT balloon into something far more than anticipated, I DID NOT feed my children Imo's pizza & assume I would make my own supper because I hate Imo's. I did not each about 8 slices of the pizza I did not order and think with each bite, "I hate this."


I DID NOT find my children outside looking like this. It was 25 degrees.
I always know where my children are and dress them appropriately for the temperature.


On a trip to the Target bathrooms, my daughter DID NOT somehow pee into her underwear, while on the toilet. I managed to save the tights, thinking we were good to continue our shopping. Somehow while I was using the toilet, the extra long tights got caught under my leg and into the toilet bowl (which yes we did not flush between the girl and me). When I pulled the tights out, I did not get a wide slash of pee water across my pants. My daughter DID NOT progress through Target out to the car without underwear to get new underclothes for her. After sorting her out in the car, I DID NOT continue through Target with my pee laced pants. I DID NOT get so distracted in the store, that I was late to pick up my other child from school. As someone on the Dave Ramsey plan, I of course had all the cash I needed in my purse to purchase my products, so I DID NOT use my Discovercard to pay for my items so I could race out the door with my pee pants and other children to make it carpool.

Have a great week!

Not me! Monday

The freedom of not being perfect, not living up to every expectation, and confessing it to others. Ah...must be Not Me! Monday! More imperfect fun at MckMama's site.

I would never, I mean never stay up until 12:15AM on Sunday night, hoping MckMama would post her Not Me Monday at 12:01 like she did the previous week. Because I am NOT at all competitive, I DID NOT get annoyed when she hadn't posted it before I had to leave for carpool. I was not at all miffed that I was 92 when I was prepared at 12 AM. I would never put that much stock into a list. Ever.

I DID NOT leave the room where my 6 year old was giving a monologue about something inane. I DID NOT enter my bedroom, close the door, and say "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. You do not have to use all 10,000 vocabulary words in one afternoon," and then go back to the other room where my child, still talking, had not noticed my absence.

I DID NOT decide to take a shortcut while putting away the entire alphabet and numbers cookie cutters by not using the step stool. I DID NOT toss the cookie cutters up into the cabinet, unaware the bag of 40 cookie cutters was still open. They DID NOT rain down on my head and into the sink full of draining dirty dishwater.

While preparing to leave and pick up Sabrina, I DID NOT put down her lunch box. So I then, of course, DID NOT spend 10 minutes searching my house for said lunch box. I DID NOT find the pink camo lunch box on the top bunk of my sons' beds. I DID NOT put it there because I got distracted by quickly remaking Stuart's bed.

After an afternoon double play date, I DID NOT go to the YMCA to work off some frustration. I DID NOT burn off 726 calories of frustration in 55 minutes on a cross trainer. I DID NOT decide that was too little time away from my darling children, so I of course had no reason to take the 25 minute hot shower after the cross trainer.

When I caught my boys not following directions to clean their room, I DID NOT simply laugh at them because they were so darned cute, they looked like a cartoon pair. I would never be that silly.

I would never laugh at my husband's job. I didn't laugh at all when Friday he called to say he was leaving on Sunday morning at 6AM to fly to DC for 4 days to sit in the back while a delegation of Vietnamese lobbied the US government for the definition of catfish. I would NEVER laugh that his company would send my husband, who works in marketing, on this assignment.

Have a great week, everyone!