Not me! Monday

The freedom of not being perfect, not living up to every expectation, and confessing it to others. Ah...must be Not Me! Monday! More imperfect fun at MckMama's site.

I would never, I mean never stay up until 12:15AM on Sunday night, hoping MckMama would post her Not Me Monday at 12:01 like she did the previous week. Because I am NOT at all competitive, I DID NOT get annoyed when she hadn't posted it before I had to leave for carpool. I was not at all miffed that I was 92 when I was prepared at 12 AM. I would never put that much stock into a list. Ever.

I DID NOT leave the room where my 6 year old was giving a monologue about something inane. I DID NOT enter my bedroom, close the door, and say "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. You do not have to use all 10,000 vocabulary words in one afternoon," and then go back to the other room where my child, still talking, had not noticed my absence.

I DID NOT decide to take a shortcut while putting away the entire alphabet and numbers cookie cutters by not using the step stool. I DID NOT toss the cookie cutters up into the cabinet, unaware the bag of 40 cookie cutters was still open. They DID NOT rain down on my head and into the sink full of draining dirty dishwater.

While preparing to leave and pick up Sabrina, I DID NOT put down her lunch box. So I then, of course, DID NOT spend 10 minutes searching my house for said lunch box. I DID NOT find the pink camo lunch box on the top bunk of my sons' beds. I DID NOT put it there because I got distracted by quickly remaking Stuart's bed.

After an afternoon double play date, I DID NOT go to the YMCA to work off some frustration. I DID NOT burn off 726 calories of frustration in 55 minutes on a cross trainer. I DID NOT decide that was too little time away from my darling children, so I of course had no reason to take the 25 minute hot shower after the cross trainer.

When I caught my boys not following directions to clean their room, I DID NOT simply laugh at them because they were so darned cute, they looked like a cartoon pair. I would never be that silly.

I would never laugh at my husband's job. I didn't laugh at all when Friday he called to say he was leaving on Sunday morning at 6AM to fly to DC for 4 days to sit in the back while a delegation of Vietnamese lobbied the US government for the definition of catfish. I would NEVER laugh that his company would send my husband, who works in marketing, on this assignment.

Have a great week, everyone!