Friday Funnies

A few weeks ago we had to put our cat down (this is not the funny bit). He was old (12 1/2 years) and his diabetes was not getting better. We discovered his diabetes b/c he was suffering from "inappropriate urination," but he was also struggling with stairs and grooming himself.

On Monday on the way to soccer practice, Chase & his friend Clay were talking about Clay's cat. I overheard the following story (Warning, don't drink anything while reading this!)

Chase: Our cat died. See he had diabetes which means you have to pee a lot. He started peeing in the house, which he's never done because we trained him not to do that.

Clay: When did you train him to do that?

Chase: Last summer. Anyway, he had so much pee inside him, it filled him up and his ball fell off and he died.

Clay: What's a ball?

Chase: You know, those things that hang down by your penis.

Clay: Oh. Ouch.

Chase: I know. So he died.

Not me! Monday

Ah, Monday! This week was full and I'm sure MckMama has even more!

I DID NOT spend 20 minutes refreshing MckMama's page waiting for Not Me! Monday last week. I DID NOT desperately need to pee during this time. I am NOT that obsessive about things. I DID NOT give up and then try again 10 minutes later to see it posted and I was number 39. I would never spend that long wasting time on anything.

While working on an auction project that DID NOT balloon into something far more than anticipated, I DID NOT feed my children Imo's pizza & assume I would make my own supper because I hate Imo's. I did not each about 8 slices of the pizza I did not order and think with each bite, "I hate this."


I DID NOT find my children outside looking like this. It was 25 degrees.
I always know where my children are and dress them appropriately for the temperature.


On a trip to the Target bathrooms, my daughter DID NOT somehow pee into her underwear, while on the toilet. I managed to save the tights, thinking we were good to continue our shopping. Somehow while I was using the toilet, the extra long tights got caught under my leg and into the toilet bowl (which yes we did not flush between the girl and me). When I pulled the tights out, I did not get a wide slash of pee water across my pants. My daughter DID NOT progress through Target out to the car without underwear to get new underclothes for her. After sorting her out in the car, I DID NOT continue through Target with my pee laced pants. I DID NOT get so distracted in the store, that I was late to pick up my other child from school. As someone on the Dave Ramsey plan, I of course had all the cash I needed in my purse to purchase my products, so I DID NOT use my Discovercard to pay for my items so I could race out the door with my pee pants and other children to make it carpool.

Have a great week!

SJ and the Bathroom

I adore afternoon napping;however, I rarely get to indulge in a little afternoon shuteye. Today was one of those rare special days when everyone cooperated and I was catnapping on the sofa. Sabrina got up a little early and came to sleep with me. So sweet. She then said, "I need to go potty." Sleepily I say, "OK, honey. Do you need help?" She leaves and I fall back asleep. About 15 minutes later, I wake up to the sound of running water. I hop up and sprint to the bathroom.

***Warning***
this gets pretty gross to the uninitiated into the ways of parenting

SJ is in the sink with her clothes all off. She has the water running and is trying to clean herself up in the sink.
"I'm taking a bath. I needed to get clean."
"Why?"
"I pooped a little"
Oh yes, there are nice bits of poop floating around her in our little bathroom sink. Also so poop smeared on the toilet seat. Wet, streaked TP on the floor and the vanity. The bathroom was a poopy mess!

While cleaning everything up, I get the story from her that she went in the toilet, but couldn't get clean with the TP, so washed her body in the sink. Turns out she wasn't finished pooping, and couldn't get out of the sink!

What is up with this girl and bathrooms? Thanksgiving was another crazy bathroom time.

Now, my hands are little raw from the bleach, but at least things are clean! (I didn't use the bleach on SJ)