Not me! Monday

Oh, yes. Monday folks! It's the crazy, MckMama inspired, Not Me! Monday! So in case anyone reports the events below as true and factual, y'all know the truth: they are outright slander! I would never be involved in the following activities!

I DID NOT have to clean up poop from my daughter's carseat in a parking lot in Columbia. I DID NOT have to send her in the semi-clean car seat for another two hour stint in the car. The car seat DID NOT come back to me with the faint stench of poo. (EW!)

I DID NOT forget about the poopy mess in the plastic bag for 3 days. I, of course, rinsed it out immediately upon returning home. I DID NOT contemplate throwing out the underpants, but then realize they were my daughter's favorite bloomers, keep them.

I DID NOT ship my children off to the grandparents for the weekend so we could finish preparing the house to go on the market this week. I also DID NOT send them so I could work on a large auction project for their school. I DID NOT spend more than 18 hours working on that project. I am NOT still having issues with the technical side of the project.

I DO NOT feel like all I've been doing for the last 6 months is preparing this house to sell. I DID NOT realize that and then realize that it hasn't even listed yet!

I DID NOT wear a skirt that was snug when I wasn't pregnant with a bella band. It did not look like it was inappropriately short. I DID NOT just wear it all day because I didn't have time to change.

I DID NOT thoroughly enjoy an evening spent with 3 other ladies who enjoyed grammar humour. I AM NOT that big a nerd. We DID NOT fall into fits laughing about the objective case of the first person. No, I am NOT that girl. (Ok, it was late and we were punchy. Is that really a defense? Wait, why do I need a defense? I DIDN'T do that!)

There is NOT a case of chicken pox in my 4 year old's class. I am NOT at all worried about having to deal with chicken pox the week our house goes on the market and before my trip to Houston.

I DID NOT have morning sickness all day on Tuesday. I WAS NOT dizzy. I DID NOT drive feeling dizzy and sick. I DID NOT watch True Beauty after lying on the couch for 3 hours.

I AM NOT going to simply stop the madness of this week's not me's. There are too many more.

Happy Monday!