Not me! Monday

Oh, yes...I have returned! Well, sort-of. I don't know if I'll ever be back to my real old self again, but at least, my new self is here!

I'm going to share a few things I certainly have NOT done over the last few weeks. Others are happy to tell you what they haveN'T done over at MckMama's blog.

When I found a small bug on the floor while I was mopping with the swiffer wet jet, I DID NOT simply douse it with extra half a cup of wet jet juice and mop over it. I would never be that wasteful just so I don't have to bend down. I also did not leave a clump of cat fur sitting next to the trash can for 2 days because I would have to bend down to get it and it was too gross to pick up with my toes. NEVER, that would be disgusting.

I have NOT made my kids watch several musicals this summer, including Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Sound of Music, Newsies, or have them watch several old Muppet shows. Nope, I would NEVER use the television as a babysitter and if I did, I would let them choose for themselves. I would NEVER be so selfish as to choose myself so I didn't have to listen to something I didn't like.

I have NOT resorted to bribing my 3 year old with stickers to behave appropriately in the store. Nope, she HAS NOT thrown several embarrassing fits recently that have completely exhausted my pregnant self. She is always the perfect angel.

My children have NOT invented a new game to play with swords. They do NOT run around the deck fighting "all the pharaohs dead."

I also have NOT been playing 80s pop music like "Footloose" or "We built this city" while we do our chores and jobs. My children do not have their own signature dance moves to these songs. I have NOT be unable to record their "rehearsals."

I am NOT hoping the baby comes tomorrow so that it would be a convenient birth date to remember. The kids DO NOT start school 3 days after my due date, so I am of course NOT hoping the baby comes now or next Friday. I am all natural and know this baby will come whenever it wants. (I, of course, have NOT been induced with my 3 other kids!)

Have a great week!